Recently my cable provider launched a new channel called Lifetime and we all get to trial it for free for a while (yay for free stuff). Judging by the show line up, it seems to be a channel for women (yay for being a woman).

Unfortunately, like most free stuff, it ain’t great.

On their website they say “Lifetime is an entertainment destination offering the highest quality dramas, movies and reality. A television network infused with passion and empowerment, it is the leading channel for women in the US. Lifetime reflects the full spectrum of the modern female experience, delivering top tier, female-focused entertainment that encourages co-viewing.”

Sorry but you’ve missed the mark. The content is kind of insulting to my intelligence. Prank My Mom? The Client List? Puh-leeez

Anywho. What annoys me the most is the pathetic advertisements about Lifetime. I can avoid the channel but it’s adverts have polluted every other channel too!

Several different (but equally pathetic) adverts are running concurrently.

In one a bunch random people (I think they are supposed to be local celebrities / important people but I have no idea who they are so they missed another mark) talk about their take on the meaning of life and ends with their tagline in the form of “One life, [Verb] it”. Cherish it / live it / sing it.

Bleah. It’s so gooey I could vomit.

In another one a woman (presumably a fashion designer) earnestly tells an unseen interviewer “Even if it is something as trivial as fashion, I would like to leave behind something that meant something to someone”.

What the…?

I don’t want to show off or anything but I fed my cat today. It meant the world to him since he doesn’t have the skills to open his own can of food. Yes, that must be the purpose of my whole existence and all the events that had to occur just so I could exist (like my grandparents going on their first date…). I know the meaning of my life!

Or was it a different event? Like when I was in school and I screen printed a t-shirt for my mom. She said it was great and even wore it a couple of times!

Or the business plan I developed last year. It gave my team something to do for the year and they earned bonuses because of it. And money is nice right? And then there are all the customers and whatever they got out of our products.

Wait a minute. According to Miss Fashion Designer, basically anything and everything I do is some sort of meaning-of-life moment. So I can go on living my blah life and since every little thing I do has some sort of ripple effect on someone, I can die thinking that I’ve been the most awesomest human being ever and I have fulfilled my purpose in life and everyone around me is better off because of me.

Yeahhh… I don’t buy that.

I started writing this blog because I was trying to work out whether everything I do is a waste of time (and if so, then what I should be spending my time on). I don’t have the answer yet. But despite the fact that I fed a helpless animal today, and I designed a cool t-shirt for my mom years ago, and I devised a plan to sell lots of sprockets to lots of customers last year I don’t think that I’m doing enough. This isn’t the meaning of my life.

And shame on anyone who’s willing to settle for such blahness.


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