Is this all a waste of time?

It is the middle of the day on a Thursday. I am currently sitting on my couch in my pyjamas. Why isn’t she at work you ask? Well…

Up until recently, I was working as a marketing executive in a large multinational medical device / pharmaceutical company. In fact, I have spent most of my 36 years working – working for grades, working for 1st place trophies, working for money, working for approval.

I didn’t like school. I didn’t like the sports I played. I didn’t love the musical instruments I played. I didn’t like my jobs.

So it got me thinking – is this all a waste of time?

Needless to say, since the question is much like asking myself what the meaning of life is, I couldn’t form a complete answer to my own question. But I knew that working 60 hours a week definitely wasn’t the answer. So I left my nice cushy job and my nice cushy income and find myself here in the middle of the day on my nice cushy couch in my nice cushy apartment.

Actually it has been a month since I said goodbye to my nice cushy job and my nice cushy income. I have gone from a pointless life (by my reckoning) to yet another pointless life (by anyone’s reckoning). Yes on paper my current life is awesome – I get out of bed at 11:30am, accomplish some minor task or activity (yesterday my only achievement was to wash my car, the day before was to get a facial, the day before that was to go to the gym), make dinner, and finally sit on the couch some more before getting ready for bed. And I finally feel relaxed and somewhat happy (I am not idiotically laughing for no reason, but on a happiness scale, I guess I’m a smidge on the happier side of neutral).

But after years of working (for grades, money, etc), I guess I’ve been conditioned into needing to achieve something. I had grand plans of “finding myself” and “learning how to be happy” and a whole bunch of other sub-topics which you’d find in the self-help section of the bookshop. So for the rest of this blog I guess I will be exploring whether there is something out there that isn’t a waste of time.